Thursday, September 20, 2007

CHAMPIONSHIP ARCHIVE: 2006 REPORT

The 2006 World Black Pudding Championships were a stunning demonstration of why this is one of the world's fastest growing sports. Over 1000 more spectators than expected were present as the event went to a tie-break or 'Lob-Off' for the first time in over 5 years.
After fending off fierce competition from Norway, whos team were followed every step of the way by the Norwegian press, three Brits stepped up beneath the sweltering sun to challenge for the most coveted sporting title in the World. And what a challenge it was!
American, British and German Television crews gaped in amazement at the thrilling climax. After the traditional round of 'scisor-paper-stone' to decide the order of play, Tony Burke took his place on the Golden Grid and launched a barnstorming delivery that dislodged three of Yorkshires finest.
Next up was Dave from Wales who sent his artful spinner up and around to send the 'lob-side'stack of puddings crashing to the ground and match England's three.
Steve, a veteran of past finals, kept his cool to match the leading two with a quite sensational 'bouncer' that ricocheted off the back-board to take two from the lob-side rear stack and one from the rear 'yorkwise' or western stack. Close observation revealed that the final pudding was dislodged by the merest delicate touch of the nylon swaddling... a fine example of the 'seam-lobbers' art.
The valiant champions had to throw again, this time a deft touch from Tony 'puddingmeister' Burke took two from the front lob-side stack. To roars from the visiting crowd Steve, the Welsh dragon, could only manage a limp 'wrist-break' that was at once audacious and ineffective. His score of one was enough to see him back on his way to the Valleys.
Past master, Steve, took to the grid and to the delight of the masses delivered a thumping lob that nearly took down the scaffolding and nearly matched the earlier Norwegian's efforts for sheer power and brutality. To the amazement of the watching world he took the championships to its first ever third round in a Lob-Off.
Finally, the heat took its toll on the two competitors who toiled under the Lancastrian sun, locked in the greatest pudding throwing tussle of the century. Steve scored a blank and it was left to Tony 'the Tiger' Burke to step into the limelight. Three consecutive scoring shots is that rarest of events - a 'Clog Trick' - the execution of which enables the competitor to pass their clogs around the audience. Would the first Clog Trick of the Millenium be witnessed by the spellbound thousands?
The spittle glistened on Tony's chin as he took aim with full concentration. A cunningly disguised full lob crackled through the air and before the three yorkwise puddings hit the soft Lancastrian tarmac, it was all over.
The greatest ever winning lob of the greatest ever final of the greatest ever world black pudding throwing championship by perhaps our greatest ever champion.
Will he retain his crown? Will the 2007 finals be even more gripping? There's only one way to find out. Be there on the second sunday in September 2007 for the next chapter in pudding throwing history. Swaddle yer puddings! LOB ON

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